Who wants to hear something hilarious?

And how I am presumably now Oxfam's enemy #1.

Well, you're hearing it anyway. It's my blog, dammit.

A long time ago, in a weird and wonderful place far far away, called Handsworth.

I was chillin' and illin' with my sisters at home, doing what we do best. Namely, playing Soul Calibur 2 and flipping THE FUCK OUT when one of us loses against the other. It's a sacred family tradition.

Anyway, one particular heated match was between me and my youngest sister. I've always been dominant and the best at SC2, but recently I've discovered I've been losing my edge. This was evident when it was the final round of a best of 5 match, and I was close to tears out of frustration. The match was building up nicely, when all of a sudden the doorbell rang.

Another little Nguyen tradition here; such occasions are normally always decided by incredibly quick-fire rock-paper-scissors. When someone is at the door, when the phone rings, when mother calls one of us down, that kind of thing.

So, being frustrated and careless and whatnot, I lost this particular round of rock-paper-scissors, and decided to have my Nguyen-freakout prematurely; running towards the door, spinning and screaming my head off, knowing full well that this was the time that mum would come home from work, and she'd appreciate the weirdness of it all.

I opened the door.

And it wasn't mum.

It was a terrified Oxfam volunteer.

There was a brief pause before he started his pitch, but my God, it seemed like a never-ending pause. Mountains must have eroded into nothingness in that space. Civilisation was crashing around us, and the Earth became no more, but still this Oxfam guy will get his point across. The fearless guy started his pitch and tried to ignore the fact that he must have heard a scorned banshee opening the door.

But it gets worse.

As he put out more and more statistics, I was distracted by the faint but very distinctive ell-em-ay-o'ing of my little sister. This in turn made me smile. This made the guy look at me with utmost puzzlement and contempt as he just told me that 2 million people lost their homes recently.

And I was giggling uncontrollably.

At this the point, the embarrassment was simply too much for me. I cut him off saying that I'm sorry, but I don't want to waste his time any further, thus increasing my twattery level a few more levels.

"Oh, OK. Do you mind if I ask why?"

Blank. Just say something.

"...Oh, it's because...I, er...you know...I...mumble, mumble..."

And I closed the door.

Afterwards, I collapsed on the couch as my sisters laughed heartily around me. It was like something out of a sitcom. Except real. And in front of one of the biggest good-cause organisations in the world.

I expect Oxfam to declare war on me soon. On national television.