I think the past couple of days has shown to me and to everyone that no matter how I try to show myself as a shining example of manliness and masculinity...
It is painfully clear that I am still a snivelling little girl inside.
It was with some trepidation when I joined the Titanic cast for the Centre of Performing Arts musical, but by the end of the run, I had found a closeness in a cast I had never experienced previously and a genuine connection with the play.
After 3 months of regular rehearsals, as well as socials to know the cast better, the last two weeks including complete run-throughs and the last week being the infamous "hell week"...
It was all over. After the final performance, it was gone. There was nothing left to do.
I genuinely woke up the morning afterwards (with a head-splitting hangover) and looking forward to rehearsals. Realising then that I didn't have any was genuinely upsetting.
I don't know what I did for the rest of that day, but all I'm sure of is that it involved mindlessly playing Xbox and listening to the soundtrack of the musical, where at one point I was so overcome with the emotions, I remember tears rolling down my cheeks whilst listening to one of the more hard-hitting songs.
If that isn't enough to say how much acting has affected me since I've started it, I don't know what is. This was the hardest I've ever felt the sadness of post-show blues, but I know for a fact I will never forget this experience.
Onwards and upwards.
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